The Beauty That Can’t Be Bottled

I know many women who have lived their lives to please other people. First it’s parents, then friends, then husbands, then children. There comes a point of awakening, most commonly when the kids are practically self-sufficient, when these women realize that they have been living by someone else’s rules. They wonder to themselves, “When can I start living the life that I want?”

What a tough question. Difficult because deep down they do not even know what they really, really want. Of course, there’s the obvious. There’s happiness, good health, and let’s not forget a youthful appearance. But women want more. 

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In the Danger Zone

It is officially summer, the weather has told me so. As I write this it is a sunny summer day, 105 degrees warm. I look for ways to cool down. I grab my purse and am overcome with joy when I find an unopened bottle of water. It’s room temperature, but as I take a big sip from it I feel as if I have stepped into Heaven.

We run our air conditioners in our cars and our homes. We fan ourselves with booklets at sporting events and with our hands at the gym. We wear hats to protect our faces and some of us use umbrellas to shelter us from the sun’s heat.

We take such good care of our bodies when it is hot.

But, what do we do with our overheated minds?

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During the last month hopefully you were able to sit down to reflect on the things that you seek to make up your ideal relationship. Wasn’t it an eye-opening experience?

Here is an example from a client of mine we’ll call Kelly (with her permission, of course). Kelly came to me because she really wanted to have direction in her dating life. She could not find a man who she trusted.

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Happiness is within each and every one of us and if we seek a happiness mindset daily, we can live with passion and purpose right now. The first step to happiness is releasing from the need to control others. You can only control your reactions, not how others act or react. That realization is the ultimate control. It’s not about what happens in the world around you, it’s about how you interpret it. And you do have total control over that.

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Over the past month you have been encouraged to take some “stillness time” and bravely examine your true feelings. We talked about how you can control only your actions and reactions and not how others act or react. That is the ultimate control.  It’s not about what happens in the world around you, it’s about how you interpret it. And you do have total control over that. When you exercise your power to control your own interpretation, then you can detach from the outcome and stay flexible and relaxed.  (more…)

Last week I introduced “stillness time” as a way to listen to your true self and invited you to integrate it into your life. Acknowledge yourself for doing this ~ this process takes a lot of courage. You will know yourself in a deeper way, right down to your core. The key to realizing what will really bring fulfillment to you is to spend this time with yourself and shine the light on your thoughts and feelings. (more…)

Last week I introduced the idea of developing a mindset of abundance and invited you to acknowledge your feelings, honor them and then release them. This week I invite you to experience a way to hone in on your true feelings in the midst of your busy life.

Most of the time this is happening under the surface – you have a negative thought or feeling, and you react to it. As you’re going on through your busy life, you may not know why all of a sudden you don’t feel motivated to take that action towards the life of fulfillment that you really want. (more…)

When you’re trying to reach for what you really want, negative thoughts and self-talk can be overwhelmingly powerful. Have you ever talked yourself out of action and into the comfort zone?Your perspective is essential to your success, and that is where reframing comes in.  (more…)

I live in Southern California where wildfires recently raged through, burning more land than the Hawaiian island of Oahu. The closest fire to me was deliberately and professionally set and mostly 90% contained as I write this due to wind shifts and cooler temperatures. It filled the air with a giant amount of smoke, ash and harmful chemicals. The air and sky were an ugly brownish color and the sun appeared red. Your eyes burned and you could not take a full breath. Even with every window in your house tightly closed, you could smell smoke. Many times I was sure that there was a fire in my own home.

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Gail believed in her BIG dream of becoming a freelance writer. She dedicated two hours a day to her craft and was writing a book of short stories. During her day job as an accountant, she envisioned herself living a passionate life in her home office writing away full-time. Ready to take the next step, Gail was excited to leave her high prestige accountant position in order to write a novel that she had been developing. She had saved up an impressive amount to cover her expenses for one year. So you can imagine how thrilled she was that she finally was ready to take the bold move and live her dream.  (more…)