Let’s take a look at the types of romantic relationships we choose to be in. If you’ve lost faith in the fact that you CAN find love, there is a soul-searching solution for finding a fulfilling and loving relationship. 

Women who have many things going for them, I see it often. They are intelligent, savvy and accomplished. They know exactly what they want in a man.

 After all, they have been honing and adding to this list for many years. This wish list for the ideal man usually includes things like physical attractiveness, financial security and kindness. (In that order.) 

With this list, a woman hopes for her ideal man to come forward. What is all too common is that the woman is told that she is being too picky and then forgoes her high standards from her list and falls for Mr. Wrong. 

It is true that a physical connection and financial security are important to a relationship but why does kindness typically come afterwards? Isn’t kindness just as important?

Mr. Wrong is usually attractive, financial stable and fun. This fun is mistaken for kindness. When she realizes that he is not kind, she has already become physically and emotionally involved and despite the red flags, she stays.

The first step in knowing if you are ready for true love is to ensure that you know exactly who you are and what you want. Make a list of your values and what you need and want from a relationship. Include as many items as you can think of ~ things that you absolutely need, things that you really want and things that you would like to have. Do not forget the things that are deal breakers.

Put some deep thought into this. Maybe all your life you thought that you have been attracted to a certain type of guy and you have never been happy. Maybe you have always been attracted to outgoing, life-of-the-party, bad boy types. Maybe you have never found the right guy because you always find something wrong with him. Maybe you have been saving yourself for the perfect man and yet, you are nowhere near perfection yourself. For example, you want a fit and athletic man who spends all of his time with you and lives in a mansion. Unless he has won the lottery or is independently wealthy, he will probably not be spending all of his time with you. He has to share his time with his job and staying fit.

Writing down in list form what is important to you as you approach your ideal relationship is the first step in unraveling who you really are. It also adds deductive reasoning to an emotional issue. Seeking a relationship is easy. Finding the RIGHT relationship takes intention.